Last week it was as simple as a conference I had with my daughter’s teacher. She had asked earlier for donations of $2.50 for a weekly magazine for the classroom. While at the conference, I asked if she needed some extra money so each child would have their own subscription. “Well….”, she said, and I knew that there were some gaps. I handed over some cash I had scrunched in my wallet.

Sometimes it is as simple as a winter coat. Many coat drives will be taking place in various areas, do you have an outgrown winter coat that you keep meaning to donate in the back of the closet – get to it !

Many kids don’t have someone to speak up and ask if they are in need. Keep your eyes open for the opportunities to reach a young heart. It doesn’t have to be a $10,000 gift of humanity. Every little bit helps.

We can make a difference and Inspire the Child.

Today, however, I’d like to be a mother fighting for other mothers – for other women. On Friday, September 25, I spent the afternoon in prison – and it really made me rethink the lucky breaks I’ve had in life, and others who were not so lucky. And one thing we just about all have in common is….children.

That Friday afternoon, I made the hour drive out to Lockhart State Prison, with a dozen other women and a couple of men. We were there on behalf of a program called Truth Be Told, which runs 8-week programs in the prison to empower women, through a curriculum designed to help them tell their stories – often for the first time in their lives. Most of these women have never really faced their pasts and traumas, much less talked about them.

Lockhart Prison

The reason we were there that Friday was for the graduation of the Truth Be Told participants at Lockhart. We had come as respectful listeners – these women were going to stand up in front of the room full of other prisoners, and us – and tell their stories, out loud, for the first time. It’s an incredibly brave and vulnerable act for anyone. And for most of these women, it was the first time they’d ever had anyone listen to them respectfully.

What an amazing concept for me. Just to be told that before the graduation blew my mind. I was listened to respectfully as a child, when I went running up to my mother on little toddler legs with some crazy childish idea. I was listened to respectfully in school by my teachers. I have had many bosses who listened to and respected me; many wonderful friends. I can sit down at the end of the day and share something minor that happened with my boyfriend – and he listens to me. Respectfully.

The concept that these women were sharing such painful, personal things – for the first time, and with complete strangers – and that by and large, it was the FIRST TIME anyone had really listened to what they had to say with attention and respect….what do I think about that? It made me sad for them.

But pity is not what I felt that day in the prison. I felt my insides ripped out by their words, their pain, their anger, their loss. Woman after woman stood up in front of the room and told their stories, most of which started with horrific abuses at a very early age. Yet they were not asking for sympathy, nor excusing their own bad choices that had landed them in prison. They cried, they raged, they hung their heads, they looked bewildered as they recounted their histories, the abuses against them, and their own mistakes for which they could never make up for.

For most of these women, childhood abuse was a huge factor – and it seemed to always result in this yearning for love, any type of love, that led to their troubles. For some it was the missing love of a father that led them to accept anything a man told them later in life – just to attain his love. For others it was trying to get money to help their family members, to show them that they loved them, to prove their love. Some women were in because of drugs, some were in because of embezzlement. Most of the stories centered around men, and relationships gone horribly, horribly wrong. Almost all of the women came across, to me, as lost and bewildered children themselves.

Children. They seemed little different from the abused and vulnerable children I have so long advocated for, and that Mothers Fighting For Others stands for. I saw clearly that connection, not very far removed, between mothers and children. Between cycles of abuse, and generational cycles of poverty, homelessness, and incarceration. I have seen this before, in the way that micro-loans not only empower women, but their children for whom they are now providing; in the way that if you feed women, teach women a skill, and give them respect, the trickle down effect to their children is powerful and instantaneous.

I guess I had just never experienced it so viscerally, so in my gut, as that day sitting in Lockhart State Prison and listening to the stories of these women-children. They all seemed to have children of their own, who seemed doomed to repeating the same path if something was not done to end the cycles of abuse that had plagued these families.

When I entered the prison, as I went through security and my pat-down search, as I was led along the ugly concrete hallways, past the stares of the male prisoners, into the “graduation” room and nervously watched the Truth Be Told graduates walk into the room in their blue prison-issued tops and pants – I thought I had nothing in common with these women. I was there to listen respectfully, to be certain, but didn’t really think I could relate to them.

I was so wrong. At almost every moment, every turn in a new story, I found myself thinking “There but for a bad choice, a bit of luck, could I have gone.” They were not so different from me, in so many ways. The biggest difference was that I had been lucky enough to have a loving family and a good, abuse-free childhood. They were not so lucky. But even so, I could relate so much to the tales they told. A slippery slope, starting with things I have done or experienced – and perhaps the reason I turned back at those points, and they continued, was due to the innate sense of love and security I had grown up with. For these women, such things were great gaping holes in their lives – and so they filled them with drugs, money and things gotten at any cost, abusive relationships, children too young simply so they could have someone to love them.

But underneath it all, we were the same. By the end of the afternoon, I found myself not only relating to them, but admiring them. These women were the bravest people I had ever met in my life. Their honesty, their courage, honed into my heart like an arrow and lodged there. I will never forget their words, or the haunted looks in their eyes as they spoke them.

And I hope that none of us forget that they are mothers, too. We are all mothers – fighting for others. Let’s bring the fight to everyone. When the mothers break free, so do their children.

Author, The Weight of Silence: Invisible Children of India

For more information about Truth Be Told, go to their website, or read this article in Austin Woman Magazine.

Stepwise, a not for profit organization working to provide basic needs for East Africa’s youth, is throwing a fund raiser at the Daniel Cooney Fine Art gallery in Manhattan to raise funds for Universal Children’s Centre in Mombasa, Kenya.

WHY??

Conditions at Universal are par for the course in East Africa: no running water, no steady food source, and an utter lack of resources for both basic necessities and education. For instance, the children may go days without food, and live off only black tea. At school, there are no desks, no proper textbooks, no supplies, and not nearly enough room for all eight classes (170+ children) being taught in the same unbelievably cramped space.

Only two teachers are full-time at Universal (for ALL 170+ children), and get paid nothing for their work. One teacher has four children, and the other has six children of their own, all of whom suffer just as much as the orphans. Universal depends on volunteers to assist these full-timers in teaching the children, but these volunteers change week to week, and obviously their teaching skills vary. Thus, the children’s education greatly suffers.

So if you’re in the NY area, come out and help us raise funds for these children while enjoying the sounds of the Drum Cafe, a world-renown group of African drummers who work with the best local artists and the finest international performers.  The Drum Cafe will provide us with inspiring and fun interactive performances that cannot be missed!

Price: $50 advance purchase, $75 at the door *ask about student rates*
Date: Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Time: 7:00pm – 11:00pm

Location:
Daniel Cooney Fine Art
511 West 25th Street, #506
New York, NY

Contact: sallyh@stepwise.org
www.stepwise.org
www.facebook.com/stepwise
www.twitter.com/stepwise

I tend to make a lot of the gifts we give at the holidays, so it’s already time for me to prepare.  I wanted a unique gift for someone I taught to knit, and while searching online I stumbled across Napalese silk yarn.  This yarn is made by a co-op of women in Nepal who take the unwanted thread remnants from the creation of saris that might have been thrown away, then hand spin the threads into beautiful yarn.  The yarn is fair-trade, eco-friendly and absolutely beautiful.  It gives these women a way to earn a good wage in an area of poverty.  Many of them support their own families and extended families through this work.  I decided I needed to order enough for myself, too.

I like being able to support a cottage industry of women working from home, and I probably have more opportunities to help than I realize. I’ve started knitting a scarf for myself.  Rather than a string on my finger as a reminder, I hope the scarf around my neck will help me remember that we are voting with our dollars every time we buy something.

If you’d like to buy Nepalese silk yarn, there are many online retailers who purchase from the co-op, a quick search will give you many choices.  Happy crafting!

Imagine what it would be like to live on less than $2 per day.  That is what 40%  of the people in the world do. “Among these 2.7 billion, the poorest 1.1 billion were scraping by on less than one dollar per day” according to” Portfolios of the Poor…How the World’s Poor Live on 2$ a Day“ by Collins, Morduch, Rutherford and Ruthven. 

These numbers are staggering.  I, like most, imagine that all of these poor must live day to day, hand-to-mouth trying only to survive one more day. I can’t even comprehend how anyone could even live for any length of time on so little and yet for two-fifths of our world that is exactly what they do.

What I learned from “Portfolios of the Poor” was astounding and humbling.  ”If you are poor, managing your money well is absolutely central to your life–perhaps more so than any other group….Far from living hand-to-mouth” one of the families studied had built up reserves in six different instruments, ranging from $2 kept at home for minor day-to-day shortfalls to $30 sent for safe-keeping to his parents, $40 lent out to a relative, and $76 in a life insurance savings policy. In addition, Hamid always made sure he had $2 in his pocket to deal with anthing that might befall him…”

This is simply amazing to me.  Like many, this poor family not only survived but they were able to save, borrow, trade and plan for emergencies.  I can’t help but compare this to our own country and the  broken financial systems both large and small that led to our financial crisis.

Where did we take a wrong turn?  When did our ability to manage money deteriorate?  What can we learn from the poorest of the poor to help us take a fresh look at how we live?

My grandfather was a doctor during the Great Depression.  Many of the people that he treated paid him in kind, with everything from deer skins to food.  Trading in this way is also very common among the poor. 

I and many of my fellow Baby Boomers seem to have grown up without a sense of need for managing our money the way our parents and grandparents did, or the poor do today.  What I have realized after reading “Portfolios of the Poor” is not only how money management plays a role in the lives of the poor and how to improve their systems but that I need to be a better financial role model for my children and it is imperative that I instill in them the importance of managing their  own money. 

Isn’t it amazing that a book meant to analyze the financial practices of the poor could actually be a wake-up call for folks like me and you?

 

 

 

One trip to Malawi Africa and a visit to an orphanage in 2003 by a young woman has resulted in over 100 TONS of  “unwanted” goods being delivered to over 1000 schools and 120 community based organizations. 

When I hear stories like this I am always in awe.  It never ceases to amaze me how one woman with passion can make such an incredible difference in so many lives.

In 2003, Melissa Kushner, visited Malawi while working for the United Nations.  One of her first stops was “a remarkable but under-funded orphanage and community center that serves almost 1,000 children.” 

Like many countries in Africa, Malawi’s orphans are desperately in need of such basic resources as clothing and educational resources including paper and pencils.  Melissa returned from her trip and started calling her friends who worked at children’s toy stores to see if they had excess merchandise.  Her first shipment to the orphanage was almost 2 tons of clothing and toys.

And so began an effort that has grown into the non-profit organization:  Goods For Good,   “Making progress out of excess“.  According to Melissa, ” Our slogan is straightforward because our mission is straightforward.  We collect surplus goods for targeted distribution to vulnerable children in Africa.”  Goods for Good relies on donations from companies who have excess items, many  of which were just “gathering dust in warehouses or were slated to be destroyed”.

What a brilliant yet simple idea.  Another one of those “why didn’t I think of that?”  kind of stories.  Companies have excess and unwanted goods that can make a huge difference in the lives of so many in such places like Kenya, where Mothers Fighting For Others is helping orphans and refugees or Malawi.

Next week our founder, Rocky, is heading back to Kenya with school supplies and hugs for our precious girls.  And, that makes me wonder, if Rocky and Melissa both made one trip to an orphanage in Africa and came back with a vision, a passion and ultimately created non-profit efforts to help, what would happen if you, I and our friends visited these orphanages and met the children? 

My favorite quote from Margaret Mead sums it up perfectly:

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

 

We’ve got some exciting news! GVN Foundation has decided to support Mothers Fighting For Others through their largest fundraiser ‘Eat So They Can!’

Eat So They Can is a global fundraising initiative that is sponsored by the Global Volunteer Network, and the GVN Foundation. This year, hosts around the world will share a meal with friends and raise money, and hosts will have the option of donating the funds they raise to Mothers Fighting For Others.  70% percentage of the proceeds will go directly to MFFO!!!  We will head back to Kenya next year and help the amazing people we met at the IDP camps back in April. I am so excited!

We’ve decided to make this a Kids Project. Inspired to make a difference, our own kids have decided to start their own project, Brothers Fighting for Others. Working directly under Mothers Fighting For Others, they will host their own party and invite the kids from the neighborhood to their ‘Eat So They Can’ fundraiser.

Let’s do something different with this and get our kids involved as well! What a great way to teach our kids about the world around us! Get them involved and let them get excited about helping people and making a difference!

It’s really up to you and your kids on what kind of party you would like to have. Your event can be a pancake breakfast, pizza party, or even an ice cream party… how cool would that be?  Party’s around the globe will be happening during the weekend of the 17th and 18th of October, 2009.

How this all works:

1. Sign up as a host by following this link: http://www.eatsotheycan.org/getinvolved/signup.php

2. Organize your event the weekend of October 17-18

3. Invite your friends and ALL their kids!!

4. Collect donations from your friends and submit these to GVN Foundation here:    http://www.eatsotheycan.org/getinvolved/donate_mffo.php

*Make sure you write ‘Eat So They Can-MFFO’ in the memo so we can tally how much we have raised!!!

Questions? Leave a comment and let me know what’s on your mind or contact the Eat So They Can host mentor, Eliza, at http://www.eatsotheycan.org/contact/

Don’t forget to spread the news as well! Go to your Facebook page and Twitter streams as well and get your friends kids involved as well! Let’s see how many Kids Party’s we can organize!

Let’s get moving!!

For these are the people that are embedded into our being.

They make up the emotional DNA of who we are. We are… fill in the blank, because of them. They could be torn family members, old friends, ex loves, or simply children from a far off place. You know who they are. And they know you too. Because when people move you to the core like this, shake you from your being, they are truly special. You know, without a shadow of a doubt, they will always be with you, even when you can’t be with them.

They are extraordinary.

You allowed them to enter your heart. You love them deeply and you can’t forget them, even when it hurts too much. These are the people that we hold dear to our hearts. The core shakers. The ones that move us, love us, and can even inspire us to be better people.

This post may not make sense to some of you. Maybe, you’ve never been shaken to the core. Or maybe, it’s simply one o’clock in the morning, and I’m exhausted. Who knows. I’ve been inspired to write tonight about the core shakers in my life. And the best part of all, I believe they know who they are.

Here are just some of mine…

]]> http://www.mothersfightingforothers.com/shaken/feed/ 2 http://www.mothersfightingforothers.com/life-with-inspiration/ http://www.mothersfightingforothers.com/life-with-inspiration/#comments Fri, 01 May 2009 03:04:11 +0000 Kim Wood http://www.mothersfightingforothers.com/?p=1151 Inspiring. I keep seeing this word creep up. What a compliment in the entirety to be called an inspiration to someone. I look at our own, Rocky Turner, who is so inspiring to watch her devotion and passion to reach the girls in Kenya. While there, her sometimes simplistic tweets about things we take for granted on a daily basis make followers pause for a moment. She is making her dream happen. She is bringing the underwear. She is delivering the pencils. She is helping a child through illness and surgery. Spreading her love. The world that is so far away, Rocky brings so close to us – sharing with us about those she comes in contact with. I see numerous people mention how inspirational she is. Her passion is evident. Her intentions are pure. Her blessings are many.

Inspiring. Sarah Stanley just completed a 50-mile run (over 10 hours) while tweeting her progress with pictures. Why? It’s an easy answer for her, “I run 50 miles to inspire someone to run or walk 1 mile.” I got the opportunity to talk to Sarah, her passion was so clear – her intentions to help others just get off the couch radiated through the telephone. Her idea is to bring Healthy, Happy, and Fit together as one message. Just following her tweets for a day during that run had a positive influence over my future runs. And I wasn’t the only one. The conversation by so many that were affected by her life was uplifting. Allowing peeks into her life during a time of multiple emotions shows by example that you CAN do what you set your mind to. Follow Sarah’s blog and tweets to get your daily dose of inspiration.

There are so many others that can be used as examples of stellar inspirational people in the world we live. Find someone that has a similar interest to you – and learn by example. I know both Rocky & Sarah don’t bite, if you find someone you admire and want to learn more – reach out !

What is your message? What can you do to inspire others? As long as your intentions are pure – your passion and message can be whatever is closest to your heart. It might be to help the local shelters, support victims of domestic violence, volunteer your time, encourage entrepreneurs, the list is endless!

Inspiration is worldwide and incorporates many different venues of life. There are people inspiring others to read. There are mothers and fathers inspiring their children. There are teachers inspiring the students to get excited about education.

Inspire the Child. Inspire Each Other. Inspire Self.

Do you have passion and enthusiasm but feel overwhelmed or even lost  when trying to take your first steps in even the most humble efforts to make a difference in your community, your state, or the world?

Then I am asking that you take just one step…Read: The Blue Sweater by Jaqueline Novogratz.

Jaqueline’s life started just like most of ours with perhaps one exception: she knew by the age of ten that she wanted to “Change the World”.  Despite strained finances in her family, she managed to save enough money by being “scrappy and enterprising” to attend University of Virgina.

The Blue Sweater shares her remarkable journey from the young female banker who was sent to Kenya to work at the African Development Bank to founder of  Acumen Fund.

It is a very personal story in which she shares about her efforts and her own personal evolution.  You will cry during some of the  horrifying stories and be filled with hope as you share in her successes.

The one thing I can guarantee is that you will come away inspired.

As Jaqueline writes: “This book is for people who do not seek easy solutions or insist on a singular ideology for the world.  It is for individuals who care less about the amount of money people earn and more about whether they can access basic services and live with freedom and dignity that are their inherent rights as human beings.”