Love Is Not Abuse
August 27, 2008 | 3 Comments
I can remember it like it was yesterday. The abuse started at such a young age. Or at least I thought it was a young age, 15 to be exact. The first punch went smack dab across my nose. It sent me bleeding to the hospital with a fractured nose. I did nothing. I told others that I had run into a door.
Did I actually think they believed me?
I can’t answer that question now, but I would have to say that they HAD to believe me. I am sure they didn’t want to announce that they had a 15 year old runaway in the ER with a broken nose from a boy she had been dating.
I now wonder how many teens, runaways or not, are living with this. I came across a wonderful website called Love is Respect. A safe place for teen, both boys and girls, to go when they feel in trouble or just want to check out certain signs of abuse. They also have an escape button should they ever encounter an incident while they are online.
They have celebrities from Jaslene Gonzalez to Camille Winbush talking about their own abusive relationships and how they escaped them.Dating abuse can happen to anyone, at any age, and even occur in same sex relationships. Teens are always looking for ways to get help. Here they provide help for them and the many different ways to find help.
I came across the Teen Dating Bill of Rights on their website. I loved them so much I had to share. These Bill of Rights should be followed by us all. Everyone of us should allow ourselves to make a promise to follow these simple steps. They are not even steps but instead a promise to love ourselves and to love others. To treat each other with RESPECT.
Teen Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge
I have the right:
- To always be treated with respect.
- To be in a healthy relationship.
- To not be hurt physically or emotionally.
- To refuse sex or affection at anytime.
- To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend.
- To end a relationship.
I pledge to:
- Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect.
- Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally, or emotionally.
- Respect my girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s decisions concerning sex and affection.
- Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship.
- Accept responsibility for myself and my actions.
Let’s all remember to love one another. Lets remember to show our teens how to love each other. Each one of us sets an example everyday by loving and respecting ourselves.
WE NEED TO TEACH OUR KIDS THIS.
If we don’t respect ourselves they certainly will not respect themselves or each other. I leave you with a video I found on Love is Respect.org. I have heard these comments, each one, so many times in my life that they are normal conversations to me. Lets make sure they don’t become “normal conversations” to our children. Time is running out.
Global Hunger: How YOU can make a difference!
June 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment
When the word global and hunger join together the mere idea seems overwhelming. How can we truly make a difference? Like any complex or dynamic challenge, the solution lies in baby steps; one step at a time.
How many gifts do you purchase for friends, family or celebrations every year? Imagine if for every one of those occasions you gave a gift that not only helps a struggling family but multiplies!
Through Heifer International, you can buy a cow, lamb, Llama, water buffalo, goat, pig, honey bees, chickens, ducks, geese, rabbits, and most importantly, HOPE for families around the world. Their online gift catalogue has numerous options to fit every budget but the impact on the recipients will be priceless.
“A good dairy cow can produce four gallons of milk a day - enough for a family to drink and share with neighbors…Better still, every gift multiplies, as the animal’s first offspring is passed on to another family.”
Next to cows, sheep are one of the most important animals a family can own as they provide wool and meat. Struggling families can use the wool for clothing or sell it for extra income. For $120 you can give an entire sheep but if that isn’t possible for only $10 you can give a share of sheep.
Besides their gift catalogue, there are other ways you can get involved in Heifer International
Or, how about helping to “pass it on”?
| Ten Things You Can Do TodayWaste Not, Want Not There are better alternatives than just throwing away those leftovers. Check out these simple tips to create less waste and help the environment too. Read more.Grow Your Own Regardless of your dwelling; large or small, urban or rural - find out why it’s worth your while to grow your own food. Read more.  Choose Coffee with a ConscienceRead our Coffee FAQs, and be an environmentally aware consumer the next time you order that Decaf Double Shot Skinny Latte. Read more. Think Globally; Eat Locally Help Small Farmers New Ideas Make a Difference |
We can make a difference…one step at a time!
Just Give
June 9, 2008 | 1 Comment
How simple that sounds. Two small four letter words. It is so easy to just give to someone. Some people give so much and some give just the right amount. Search inside your soul to find out if you want to Just Give. I stumbled upon Just Give as I googled Domestic Violence charities. It amazed me as it appeared before my eyes how many different options they have for you. So many to choose from. If you click Just Give Domesitc Violence Charities you can see for yourself that there are at least ten different places for you to look into. You can donate monetarily, volunteer your time or even add this charity to your wedding registry if you are about to be married. Could you imagine how wonderful your soul would feel donating something to charity instead of receiving for yourself?
I want to commit myself to working toward the day when all women and men will be safe and abuse will be no more. Violence against women, inside or outside the home, is never justified. Violence in any form—physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal is wrong.
When you give to someone the gratitude you feel is very overpowering. It will make you realize that you have just helped save another soul from the torture that they are enduring everyday.
I thank you from all the battered men and women out there. I know, I was there years ago. In my heart I know when we work together as a team, anything is possible.
So please, go visit Just Give and take a look for yourself.
The Children Caught in the Middle
April 28, 2008 | 4 Comments
There are over half a million children in the foster care system in the United States today and I am partially to blame. As a board member of SCAN (Stop Child Abuse Now) I know that our organization, through the DSS and courts, is responsible for making recommendations that sometimes call for removing endangered children from their family members.
I can’t imagine anything more frightening to a child than being taken from their family and placed in a home with total strangers. Despite the abuse, most children desperately want to stay with their natural family. However, over 40% of children in foster care are with non-family members.
A very close friend of mine has been a foster child his whole life. Growing up in South Central Los Angeles, he lived with a couple he still calls his parents after 46 years yet they never adopted him because he was their source of income. Some of his stories would make you cry; not just because they are tough to hear, but because you realize that even the little morsels of care he received made him grateful. He defends them to this day despite it all.
Thankfully, most foster parents provide a loving safe haven for children. According to the non-profit organization FosterClub, abuse is the number one social concern among teens in the U.S. Clearly a foster home offers a sense of protection. But, beyond the fear of abuse, how do foster children cope with the typical struggles that go along with growing up?
Thanks to organizations like FosterClub, there are wonderful resources available for foster children. FosterClub is a non-profit organization created to “provide encouragement, motivation, information, education, and benefits for foster youth.” Their 3 websites: FosterClub.com, FosterClub.org and Fyi3.com were created for a place for kids to got to ask questions, learn about other successful foster youth, share opinions about their own foster experiences, get recognition and support for overcoming obstacles, enter contests and more according to their website.
They also provide publications to help the youth, events especially for the youth, and even an outreach program where foster kids can work with child welfare professionals to develop effective ways to communicate wtih foster children.
FosterClub.com servers as their primary communication tool with youth and is a “hub of information related to foster care, including articles written by young people..message boards, contests and even biographies of famous people who grew up in foster care. It’s youth-friendly, interactive, and available 24/7″.
FYI3.com is a website designed for youth preparing to transition out of foster care. It offers an incredible array of resources to help the youth become independent.
FosterClub.org is their website designed for adults; particularly those who support and care for young people in foster care.
In a world where foster youth may feel different, alone or isolated, it is so important for them to know there are such great resources available just for them.
Want to learn more about how foster care works:
How Does the Child Welfare System Work?
http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov/pubs/factsheets/cpswork.cfm
A Child’s Journey Through the Child Welfare System
http://pewfostercare.org/docs/index.php?DocID=24
How it Works: The Foster Care System
http://people.howstuffworks.com/foster-care.htm
A Family’s Guide to the Child Welfare System
http://www.cwla.org/childwelfare/familyguide.htm
Foster Care Glossary of Terms
http://www.fosterclub.com/fostercareFacts/glossary.cfm
Foster Care Questions & Answers for Youth
http://www.fosterclub.com/fostercareFacts/QA.cfm
Raising Children to Make a Difference in the World
March 5, 2008 | 3 Comments
As I watched the remarkable 9-year old boy on NBC’s Nightly News talking with such passion about why he led his classmates in their effort to raise money for the PlayPump water system for a school in Africa, I was truly blown away by his seemingly innate passion for helping others.
While I was doing research about children helping others for my last post: Children Can Help Too, I realized that this boy’s passion to make a difference could be innate, but it can also be learned. Teaching a child to have compassion involves nothing more than defining some goals, providing some structure for parenting plus implementing ideas of things to do with your children that can be incorporated in to daily life. How I wish I had these tools while rasing my children!
Here are three articles by three exceptional women who share their expertise about teaching children to want to help others or make a difference:
Karen Cammuso, PhD is a senior staff psychologist at the Bradley School, offered a presentation in 2005: Parenting Matters: Raising Children Who Want to Help Others in which she emphasizes how a parent can promote the ability of children to make choices, reason through decisions, assist a child in developing and understanding emotions, setting conditions that promote the development of empathy, teach by example and help to see themselves as part of a larger world.
Sally Sacks, a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of counseling experience wrote a wonderful article: Teaching Kids to Make A Difference In The World offers a more down-to-earth approach for moms; providing a wonderful list of 11 things you can do with your children to instill a desire to care for others.
How To Raise a Compassionate Child written by Jane Meredith Adams for Parenting.com offers yet more ways to encourage children to help others including “promoting sweetness,enforcing rules, guiding friendships, encouraging helping others and building on their smarts”.
Let’s make the world a better place, one child at a time!
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