I complained to a friend that it’s frustrating not to have the choice to get my children vaccinated.  She stopped me in my tracks when she thought out loud, “I wonder how the Moms in Africa feel when they can’t get vaccines or even basic necessities for their kids?”

Whoa.

I did a little research and found that:

• In Africa, nearly 1 in 5 kids still die of diarrhea.

• Polio, almost unheard of in my corner of the world, infected approximately 1,500 people in Africa in 2004.

• An estimated 300,000 children die of pneumonia each year in Africa.

My friend was right.  We have healthy children and are downright spoiled with our access to immediate medical care.  While conditions and medical care are improving in Africa, there is still such a long way to go.  My frustration over vaccines and the flu are just the tiniest taste of the fear and helplessness felt by Moms in other parts of the world.  I hope we can learn to use the frustrations to urge us on to action to make things better, everywhere.

It wasn’t until she went for an MRI that she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Tracy, a young healthy, active woman, was about to begin a different journey from her childhood visions. There is no cure for MS.

Today, Tracy continues to battle this disease. She will never give up. But she has decided it is time to make a difference for others who are faced with this Multiple Sclerosis. Tracy is on a mission—Tracy Alva’s Mission. The organization exists to confront MS and help people diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis manage the physical, emotional, and financial challenges they face every day.

Now Tracy has developed, with her good friend Dr. Robi Ludwig, a beautiful and inspiring way to raise funds and support for this cause. Robi designed the Believe Pendant, a beautiful silver filigree disc with a vintage look, that says “believe” on the back.

Tracy says, “My mom just adored Robi. You know, when your mom speaks about friendship and special people stay in your life from start to finish – well, Robi was one of those people. It was natural that we would ask Robi to be the one to design a piece of jewelry for my mission.”

Robi, a renowned psychotherapist who has appeared on the Today Show, CNN, and FOX, joyfully created the special pendant – the first inspirational jewelry line designed for MS.

“As a therapist I know how powerful words can be,” says Robi. “I loved the idea of a butterfly, because it represents transformation during times of transition. It’s also a hopeful symbolic reference for rising above problems during difficult times.

I wanted the word ‘Believe’ because that’s what we so often need to remind ourselves to do when life presents us with it’s multiple challenges. Reading an inspirational word, or having it near our body can sometimes give us the hope and little extra boost we need, to get us through the day.”

Click here to buy the pendant or learn more about Tracy Alva’s Mission. For more information about Multiple Sclerosis, you can go here.

Today, however, I’d like to be a mother fighting for other mothers – for other women. On Friday, September 25, I spent the afternoon in prison – and it really made me rethink the lucky breaks I’ve had in life, and others who were not so lucky. And one thing we just about all have in common is….children.

That Friday afternoon, I made the hour drive out to Lockhart State Prison, with a dozen other women and a couple of men. We were there on behalf of a program called Truth Be Told, which runs 8-week programs in the prison to empower women, through a curriculum designed to help them tell their stories – often for the first time in their lives. Most of these women have never really faced their pasts and traumas, much less talked about them.

Lockhart Prison

The reason we were there that Friday was for the graduation of the Truth Be Told participants at Lockhart. We had come as respectful listeners – these women were going to stand up in front of the room full of other prisoners, and us – and tell their stories, out loud, for the first time. It’s an incredibly brave and vulnerable act for anyone. And for most of these women, it was the first time they’d ever had anyone listen to them respectfully.

What an amazing concept for me. Just to be told that before the graduation blew my mind. I was listened to respectfully as a child, when I went running up to my mother on little toddler legs with some crazy childish idea. I was listened to respectfully in school by my teachers. I have had many bosses who listened to and respected me; many wonderful friends. I can sit down at the end of the day and share something minor that happened with my boyfriend – and he listens to me. Respectfully.

The concept that these women were sharing such painful, personal things – for the first time, and with complete strangers – and that by and large, it was the FIRST TIME anyone had really listened to what they had to say with attention and respect….what do I think about that? It made me sad for them.

But pity is not what I felt that day in the prison. I felt my insides ripped out by their words, their pain, their anger, their loss. Woman after woman stood up in front of the room and told their stories, most of which started with horrific abuses at a very early age. Yet they were not asking for sympathy, nor excusing their own bad choices that had landed them in prison. They cried, they raged, they hung their heads, they looked bewildered as they recounted their histories, the abuses against them, and their own mistakes for which they could never make up for.

For most of these women, childhood abuse was a huge factor – and it seemed to always result in this yearning for love, any type of love, that led to their troubles. For some it was the missing love of a father that led them to accept anything a man told them later in life – just to attain his love. For others it was trying to get money to help their family members, to show them that they loved them, to prove their love. Some women were in because of drugs, some were in because of embezzlement. Most of the stories centered around men, and relationships gone horribly, horribly wrong. Almost all of the women came across, to me, as lost and bewildered children themselves.

Children. They seemed little different from the abused and vulnerable children I have so long advocated for, and that Mothers Fighting For Others stands for. I saw clearly that connection, not very far removed, between mothers and children. Between cycles of abuse, and generational cycles of poverty, homelessness, and incarceration. I have seen this before, in the way that micro-loans not only empower women, but their children for whom they are now providing; in the way that if you feed women, teach women a skill, and give them respect, the trickle down effect to their children is powerful and instantaneous.

I guess I had just never experienced it so viscerally, so in my gut, as that day sitting in Lockhart State Prison and listening to the stories of these women-children. They all seemed to have children of their own, who seemed doomed to repeating the same path if something was not done to end the cycles of abuse that had plagued these families.

When I entered the prison, as I went through security and my pat-down search, as I was led along the ugly concrete hallways, past the stares of the male prisoners, into the “graduation” room and nervously watched the Truth Be Told graduates walk into the room in their blue prison-issued tops and pants – I thought I had nothing in common with these women. I was there to listen respectfully, to be certain, but didn’t really think I could relate to them.

I was so wrong. At almost every moment, every turn in a new story, I found myself thinking “There but for a bad choice, a bit of luck, could I have gone.” They were not so different from me, in so many ways. The biggest difference was that I had been lucky enough to have a loving family and a good, abuse-free childhood. They were not so lucky. But even so, I could relate so much to the tales they told. A slippery slope, starting with things I have done or experienced – and perhaps the reason I turned back at those points, and they continued, was due to the innate sense of love and security I had grown up with. For these women, such things were great gaping holes in their lives – and so they filled them with drugs, money and things gotten at any cost, abusive relationships, children too young simply so they could have someone to love them.

But underneath it all, we were the same. By the end of the afternoon, I found myself not only relating to them, but admiring them. These women were the bravest people I had ever met in my life. Their honesty, their courage, honed into my heart like an arrow and lodged there. I will never forget their words, or the haunted looks in their eyes as they spoke them.

And I hope that none of us forget that they are mothers, too. We are all mothers – fighting for others. Let’s bring the fight to everyone. When the mothers break free, so do their children.

Author, The Weight of Silence: Invisible Children of India

For more information about Truth Be Told, go to their website, or read this article in Austin Woman Magazine.

Stepwise, a not for profit organization working to provide basic needs for East Africa’s youth, is throwing a fund raiser at the Daniel Cooney Fine Art gallery in Manhattan to raise funds for Universal Children’s Centre in Mombasa, Kenya.

WHY??

Conditions at Universal are par for the course in East Africa: no running water, no steady food source, and an utter lack of resources for both basic necessities and education. For instance, the children may go days without food, and live off only black tea. At school, there are no desks, no proper textbooks, no supplies, and not nearly enough room for all eight classes (170+ children) being taught in the same unbelievably cramped space.

Only two teachers are full-time at Universal (for ALL 170+ children), and get paid nothing for their work. One teacher has four children, and the other has six children of their own, all of whom suffer just as much as the orphans. Universal depends on volunteers to assist these full-timers in teaching the children, but these volunteers change week to week, and obviously their teaching skills vary. Thus, the children’s education greatly suffers.

So if you’re in the NY area, come out and help us raise funds for these children while enjoying the sounds of the Drum Cafe, a world-renown group of African drummers who work with the best local artists and the finest international performers.  The Drum Cafe will provide us with inspiring and fun interactive performances that cannot be missed!

Price: $50 advance purchase, $75 at the door *ask about student rates*
Date: Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Time: 7:00pm – 11:00pm

Location:
Daniel Cooney Fine Art
511 West 25th Street, #506
New York, NY

Contact: sallyh@stepwise.org
www.stepwise.org
www.facebook.com/stepwise
www.twitter.com/stepwise

She has carried this burden for the past five years. She had a hard time sleeping and concentrating in school. I couldn’t imagine what that had done to her soul. We had a long talk and I tried desperately to tell her as a Mother, that it wasn’t her fault. There was a lot of crying and hugging that night. I had hoped that the discussion we had would make a difference. I’m not a Doctor or a psychiatrist. I’m just a Mom who was hoping that a little love would help. One month later, I received a call from her telling me she was 7th in her class. I was so proud of her.

I can only imagine what we could do for these girls when they receive the daily counseling that they so desperately need. They will receive it one day. That is one of the most important things we want the girls to have at Inspire the Child. One day, each of the girls will not be lost in their history of death, rape and loss. One day they will BELIEVE that they are not their history, it’s just a part of them. All I want for them is to grow into independent, educated, and self assured young women!

Now, that would make their future so different from their past!!

Caroline with Deepak, March 2009

The Miracle Foundation secured the place on Global Giving for two years, by raising $4,000 from 50 unique donors, in 30 days. Now, the foundation has a chance to win from $3,000 to $6,000 in grant money from Global Giving – and you can help make that happen!

As part of their Global Open Challenge 2009, Global Giving is awarding bonus grants of up to $3,000 for the nonprofit organizations that raise the most money during the Challenge – and an additional $3,000 will be awarded to the organization that has the most unique donors.

Please click here to go to The Miracle Foundation’s page on Global Giving and make your donation to help get us there – the foundation is currently in 3rd place out of 121 organizations! No donation is too small - even $10 will help a lot! Online donations will be accepted through September 18th, 2009.

Miracle Foundation’s project will save the lives of single mothers and their babies, by providing a home, nutrition, healthcare and love to these marginalized members of India’s untouchable caste. Caroline Boudreaux, founder of The Miracle Foundation, says, “By offering a safe environment to these abandoned and destitute mothers, we improve the maternal and infant mortality rate and care for those who are not cared for by others. It is a powerful way to make a significant difference.”

Providing pre-natal care, hospital births, formula, and immunizations ensures healthy mothers and children. Hear the impact that The Miracle Foundation is having direct from a mother herself. Sangeeta, a woman who gave birth at the home in Simdega, said, “I now have hope for both my own and my child’s future.”

Global Giving is an online marketplace that connects you to the causes and countries you care about. You select the projects you want to support, make a tax-deductible contribution, and get regular progress updates – so you can see your impact. Their mission is to build an efficient, open, thriving marketplace that connects people who have community and world-changing ideas with people who can support them.

The mission of Inspire The Child empowering girls to be strong and independent women of Kenya inspires me. Helping bring the confidence and determination to be all that they can be could be seen as a light at the end of their tunnel.

I’m reminded many times of the inspiration that children provide, often without recognizing they are even doing it.

Alexandra “Alex”  Scott was diagnosed with a childhood cancer shortly before her first birthday. She fought. She met many milestones that her parents, Jay and Liz were told would probably not occur. In 2000, the day after her fourth birthday, Alex told her mother “When I get out of the hospital I want to have a lemonade stand.”  Her plan seemed simple in her mind… she’ll raise money from her lemonade stand and give it to the doctors so they can find a cure for cancer.

Did I mention Alex was a fighter? She passed away in 2004 at 8 years old, after being the inspiration for lemonade stands and fundraisers to donate over $1M to childhood cancer research.

Although Alex’s family lives in my area, west of Philadelphia, the lemonade stands spread the country. Many national companies have jumped on board in helping the cause, like Volvo and Applebee’s Restaurants. The family and board members continue growing Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation to fight the fight and find a cure for childhood cancers.

Like I’m sure most of us have, I’ve battled some challenges lately. When I look at what Alex was able to accomplish while fighting the fight of cancer, I’m inspired. I’m humbled.

How can you help?

• Encourage a lemonade stand in your area – get the children involved!
• Commit to a 5K run or walk on October 25th – no matter where you are – join The 1st Annual Lemon Virtual Run/Walk
• Buy a $1 virtual cup of Lemonade at Volvo’s virtual lemonade stand
• Volunteer virtually. Find and Follow Alex’s Lemonade Stand on Social networks.
• Get your school involved

Sometimes just being yourself is an inspiration to others. Sometimes it is sharing your story. Sometimes it is creating a Foundation. But one rule is steadfast… don’t do any of it out of self-service … it just doesn’t work that way and it might bite.

On Sunday, July 26, at 11 pm I called my daughter after getting out of the movies to tell her good night and check on the lil man. My daughter didn’t answer the phone. Ray’s (Alex’s boyfriend) sister answered the phone and began to tell me something I never even thought to fear. She told me that the past Friday night, during an argument between Alex and Ray, he slapped her across the face while she was holding the baby. She felt embarrassed and ashamed so she did not tell anyone what had happened.

Two days later on Sunday night, she had been invited by some friends to go out to dinner. Ray thought she should stay at home because he was at home. She said she was going and another argument ensued. He grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the wall, grabbed her arms and slung her around the room, knocking into several items before finally pinning her down on the bed. Her friends showed up at this point and he let her up. Her friend, Krystal,  insisted that she call the cops and report it, which she did not want to do. She didn’t want me to know either because she planned on returning after a “cool” down period of a few days. Ray was arrested that night on two counts of domestic assault and one count of child endangerment.

The past few weeks, we have learned of other things going on in their relationship, such as mental abuse. He would tell her that she was stupid, fat, and ugly almost daily. He also did not allow her to go places without him. If she did she had to “check in” regularly or stay on the phone with him while she was out. She is also not the first girl he’s abused.

Since that night, my family and friends have been trying to build her back up. Letting her know that she is beautiful and smart and reminding her of her strengths and ways of working on her weaknesses. It is nothing short of amazing to see her eyes when the fog started to lift!

We do not discuss the events of that night anymore. We discuss mommy things, school, college, future plans and dreams, and how she can achieve them. It has seemed to really calm her and assure her of herself once again. I am starting to see my daughter again.

It is so important to empower young women to believe in themselves. They need to know that they are special and powerful over their own lives. I was not prepared to deal with this issue. I was unaware of how often this happens.

Educate yourself and your children. Talk to your sons about respect for women. Talk to your daughters about respect for themselves. WHY?

Alex is now finishing her high school education and has plans to go to college. She is currently looking for a job and staying with friends in a safe place. There is a stay away against Ray and his trial is pending on the two misdemeanors and felony charges that he faces.

Everyone should know the facts. Stopping the abuse starts at home with our own kids.

**facts were taken from The Lindsay Ann Burke Memorial Fund

But the story of two kids helps me to understand the importance and value of research. One, Makayla,  at 5 yrs. of age, died after battling Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) most of her short life.  Another, Caitlyn, 11, went for hip replacement replacement surgery last Thursday as a part of her ongoing battle with Arthritis.  She will be bed-ridden the rest of the summer.  Countless kids (and adults of any age) suffer from Arthritis every single day.

Ongoing research brings us closer & closer to finding a cure to the group of horrific, degenerative diseases.  I am riding in the California Coast Classic this October 3-10, 525 miles from San Francisco to LA, a fundraising event of the Arthritis Foundation.  I am riding for the little girls described above, my friend Laurie Miller who is riding with me and in memory of my mother-in-law who died suffering a pain-racked body for the last 5 years of her life.

If you can, please donate now to fund research for a cure for Arthritis. Help me help them. Every dollar will bring us closer to a cure! You can find my donation page on the California Coast Classic Donation Page.

Thank you!

Kirsten Salvador

*Kirsten is a long time online friend and supporter of MFFO.org. Thanks Kirsten for finding your passion and helping these great kids!

I understand it now more than ever. Being away from the girls at Saint Monica’s for months at a time has taught me this. I know for me, they are with me, on my mind, and in my heart, every single day.  I worry about them more than the children that live in my house. Why? Because I know my “American” children are going to a good school, being fed healthy food, can receive medical treatment when needed, and have two parents who tell them every single day they are loved, unconditionally.

For our daughters in Kenya, that is not the case. I am not there everyday, or every week, or even every month. They only saw me once in 2008. I have already been twice just this year, with my last trip just being short of four months ago.

I am heading back to Kenya next weekend.

Why so soon?  There are two reasons for my return to Kenya this month. The first is to get the High School girls their supplies to them for their last term of school. The second is to assure them of everything.  And I mean everything. They have lost everything in their life, their home, their security, their dignity, and the love from a Mother and Father.

I am doing everything I can to change that. If that means I need to go to Kenya, if only for a few days, to assure them I am dedicated to them, I will. If they need to see my face to know that I… that we, and I mean every single one of you who have donated to MFFO,  are still committed to their education, I will. If they need to be hugged and kissed for the entire five days I am on the ground to prove our love to them once again, I will. They have been disappointed enough. They have been hurt and lied to, raped, abandoned, and taken advantage of enough in their lives. My job is to prove to them that love can be unconditional. That we will take care of them. That we will always and forever be bound together.

My goal is to make sure they understand that love is never limited by distance or time.